Last Christmas
by carebearfrost
Summary: A dreadful event leads heartbroken Sonny away from Chad. But when he shows up a year later, could things be for the better? Not your normal Christmas story. For the wonderful Anna  :


**Hey guys! I finally managed to get this secret sister one-shot posted ;] My secret sister was FrostyNights, otherwise known as Anna, who ironically is my cousin! (: So anyways Anna, Merry Christmas, and I'm **_**sooo **_**sorry this took so long!**

_"Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. _

_But the very next day, you gave it away. _

_This year to save me from tears, I'll give it to someone special."_

***.*.***

"_Have a holly, jolly Christmas-," _The radio was silenced when Chad angrily threw his wine glass at it. Both the glass and the radio shattered, a piece flung at Chad and cut his arm roughly.

Blood began to drip from the wound, but Chad couldn't feel it. He didn't feel anything. It was his fault.

All of it. Starting from two years ago.

Chad took in a ragged, shaky breath and inched his finger closer to the gun that was on the table. Chad placed the gun firmly in his head, and slowly lifted it up and pressed it against his temple. He was shaking. All of him. Shaking for warmth. For light. To make it go away. He was nervous. Anxious. Scared. Terrified.

But most of all, guilty.

He didn't deserve to live. A years passed since it happened. Maybe now he would have the courage to actually end this. The torture and torment and pain.

His whole body was shaking so hard, the table was vibrating. His teeth were clenched, his hand tightened around the gun.

Three.

He thought of her eyes. Those warm, brown, beautiful orbs.

Two.

He thought of her smile. The blinding one. The happy one. The sad one.

One.

Lastly, he thought of her face when it happened. When she found out. He thought of the pain he caused her, the tears that ran down her face when she ran.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Chad braced himself for the shot.

But it never came. Chad threw the gun on the ground and burried his face in his hands, his body being wracked by huge, mournful sobs. He couldn't do it. He wasn't strong like her. He was a coward. A coward with no face. One that was long lost in the crowd, the ever-lasting sea of people with the wandering eyes. . .

*.*.*

_A year earlier. _

Depression was a horrible thing. For her, it was awful. She didn't want to be depressed, of course, but she had been hurt so badly. She had fallen into this . . . this funk, and was unable to go back. Sonny had tumbled headfirst into love when she should have taken her time, been more careful, more observing.

She should have seen the signs.

Almost a year had passed. Actually, by tomorrow, it will be exactly a year. Exactly a year since the horrible, devasting heart-break happened. A year since the suicide attempts came up. A year since her life spiraled drastically down hill.

Her name is Sonny Munroe. And this is her story.

The harsh shrill ringing of the alarm clock bursted in Sonny's ears. She jumped up out of bed, slipping on her own feet and with a yelp fell right onto the hardwood floor. "Oww..." Moaned Sonny as she dragged herself off the floor and rubbed her now sore elbow. Already a painful headache began to creep inside her and she hadn't even been awake for thirty seconds.

Glancing at the clock, Sonny realized with a jolt that it was already five thirty in the morning, meaning she only had ten minutes to make it to the subway.

Now in an even bigger rush, Sonny quickly scooped all of her makeup into her purse and threw on a pair of jeans and her work t-shirt. Running a brush through her hair, Sonny ran out the door, pausing once to look at her reflection then wince, wishing she hadn't.

While in the ratty old apartment elevator, Sonny quickly applied her foundation, blush, and eyeshadow and was just getting started on her eye-liner as the doors opened. Cursing under her breath, she shoved the pencil in her purse and walked briskly out the building and into the bitter New York cold.

It was Christmas Eve, and already there was a good two feet of snow on the ground, and more to come. In her haste, Sonny had only remembered to grab a light jacket. Shivering, Sonny sped her pace up to a run for two reasons: To make her train and get to work and to be out in the cold for as little as possible.

She didn't want to be late for work. It was kind of the only thing she had now. That and Tawni, her best friend.

Sonny eyed the subway entrance across the street and a sastisfied smile grew across her face. Almost there. Right as she started to cross the street, another person ran into her. Hard..

"Oof!" Sonny let out a painful gasp as she fell onto the freezing ground for the second time that morning. The person who she had ran into had been carrying a large box, and somehow had managed to stay upright.

"Oh, jeez, here let me help you." A painfully familiar voice rang in her eyes and broke Sonny from her stunned haze. She squined into the barley morning light and saw a pair of brilliant blue eyes and flashing blonde hair.

Her eyes focused on his mouth, watching it move up and down. That's when she realized that he was speaking. Sonny blinked snow off of her eyelashes, the cold just a nagging feeling in the back of her mind. The only thing she could focus on was him. The only thought she could think was _Oh my god. It's _him!

_Tell me Baby, do you recognize me? _

_Well, it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me. _

Does he recognize me? Would he? Sonny searched his icy blue eyes for any flicker of recognition, but found none. Dissappointment filled her already aching heart, and she quickly blinked back tears.

"Are you alright? Can you hear me?" He spoke again, this time his voice had an undertone of worry.

Calm down, Sonny. Breath. If he doesn't recognize you, then neither will you. You're over him. You're over him.

Breathing in a deep breath, Sonny looked up and locked eyes with him for the first time. He gave her a warm smile, and she watched his eyes travel down to her arms and widen slightly. "Aren't you cold?" He asked, holding out his hand. Sonny clasped it gratefully and he pulled her up.

Sonny shivered, her now soaked sweater clung to her skin and chilled her to the bone. "Jeez, you're freezing!" He exclaimed, setting his box on the ground and opening it up. "Here, I was on my way to go donate these, I have plenty." He pulled out a black leather jacket and gave it to Sonny. "I owe you, anyway. I swear, I don't normally knock people down like that." He chuckled sheepishly, running a hand through his hair and shooting Sonny a nervous smile that made her knees weak.

Sonny slipped his jacket over her shoulders and was blasted by his amazing, practically trademarked scent. "Thanks."She whispered softly, rubbing he hands together for warmth.

"I'm Chad, by the way." Chad said, extending his hand for a handshake. Sonny took it, grateful for the heat his hands presented, and a thrill shot through her when she felt his hand linger on hers for a heartbeat longer than the normal handshake.

He looked at Sonny expectantly, and she realized that I was supposed to state her name as well. "Allison." Sonny said quietly, not having the heart to say Sonny, for fear that he would recognize her. And she couldn't let that happen. She wouldn't be able to take it-

No. Her _heart _wouldn't be able to take it.

"So, what's a pretty lady like yourself doing out here in the cold before six AM?" Chad asked, smoothly, flashing a heart-melting smile that probably won over every girl he's talked to.

Sonny tossed her hair over her shoulder indignantly and pulled the jacket tighter around her body before replying, "Why's a guy like you out donating clothes before six AM?" She inquired, her eyebrow raised.

He chuckled, "Alright then, I was on my way to work. Stupid Holiday season, making you work ungodly hours."

Sonny nodded then, unable to help herself agreeing with him. She stopped though. She wasn't even supposed to be talking to him. It didn't matter if he didn't recognize her, after what he did last year, he didn't deserve a second chance.

"It was nice talking to you. Thanks for the jacket, gotta go." Sonny said hurridely, knowing that she had definetely missed her train.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait!" Chad grabbed her arm as Sonny began to walk across the street. "Stop, why can't we just talk?"

_Now I know what a fool I've been, _

_But if you kissed me now, I know you'd fool me again. _

"Becauase I don't know you!" Sonny lied, tugging on her arm, "And it's cold and I'm already late for work because you've made me miss my freaking train. Thanks alot." With one final tug, Sonny yanked her arm out of his grip and stumbled into the street. "Bye."

"Wait! Jesus, Sonny! _Wait_!" His cry echoed out into the street, making her stop mid-step.

Her mouth opened up in a silent scream, her eyes widened as large as saucers. Did he just-

Was that really-

_Huh?_

Sonny turned around slowly and took a ragged breath. Dawn was slowly creeping over the sky, and the used to be empty streets were getting more and more crowded.

"What did you just say?" Sonny whispered, taking a step towards the man standing on the sidewalk. His blue eyes were filled with sadness and regret.

He took a step forward also, "I said Sonny."

Sonny's heart pounded. He recognized her? What? How? Why? Let me repeat: _Huh?_

"Did you think I couldn't recognize you?" Chad asked hoarsley. Just a few feet away, Chad stepped closer and grabbed both of her freezing hands. "Of course I did, Sonny! And I sure could tell you recognized me."

"Wow." Chad breathed, staring at her face. "Sonny Munroe. I haven't seen you in what, a year now?"

Sonny could barley believe it. This was great! This was wonderful! A smile spread across her face as she remembered last Christmas. All the fun they'd had, how "in love" they had been, how on the day after Christmas she had-

Wait. No, no. no, no.

No.

This wasn't good.

The man standing before her was the one who broke her heart.

_My god, I thought you were someone to rely on. _

_Me, I guess I was a shoulder to cry on. _

Sonny shook her head and backed away slowly, watching a frown grow on Chad's face. "No." She whispered, quiet at first, but then louder. "No!"

Chad frowned, "Sonny, what's wrong-,"

"NO!" Sonny shouted, shaking from both cold and emotion. "I trusted you, Chad! My God, I _trusted _you!"

A pain look came across Chad's face, "Sonny, if you would just let me explain-,"

"Explain what?" Sonny growled, having no idea where all this courage was coming from, "Explain how I found you with _her_?"

Chad opened his mouth to reply, but stopped suddenly, "Sonny, look out!"

Without even looking behind her, Sonny ducked down and sprinted back to the sidewalk. Merely seconds later, a city bus came roaring by, sending her hair flying around her face.

Sonny quivered, very well aware of how close she was to being hit.

"Sonny! Sonny, are you alright?" Chad gasped, running to her.

Sonny held her hand up, "Stop! Just stop. I don't want to hear anything from you." She narrowed her eyes as Chad opened his mouth once more.

"Sonny, that girl, the one you saw me with," Sonny's heart plunged just hearing him say it, "Was my sister." Chad breathed. "She was in town, and called me asking for us to meet up for dinner. And of course I accepted! So we went out to dinner, and then you walked in, saw us, and fled. You didn't give me a chance to explain or anything!"

Sonny's jaw dropped. She listened to what Chad said, and felt herself falling for it. By now it was well past seven in the morning, and the sun was up and shining and people were out bustling down the busy New York streets. She and Chad were being bumped into by the busy New Yorkers, but it didn't make a difference. All they did was stand, three feet apart, and just stare at each other.

"You believe me, right?" Chad asked, "I'm not lying. I loved being with you Sonny. I would never, _ever_, cheat on you. And seeing you now is incredible. . . because I might finally get the second chance we both know I deserve."

Sonny shivered and wrapped her arms around herself. She avoided his questioning gaze and looked up at the sky, wincing as a drop **(A/N drop of snow? Pellet of snow? Snowflake? Idk what to call it ;P) **of snow fell into her eye.

_Once bitten, and twice shyed, _

_I keep my distance, but you still catch my eye. _

Finally she sighed and met Chad's sparkling blue gaze. "I. . . I don't know." Sonny admitted. "How do I know you're telling the truth?"

A slight smile came across Chad's face, and he reached out to grab Sonny's hand just as a buisness man bumped into Chad, making him fall onto the ground. "Watch it!" The man snapped, not even looking up from his phone as he kept on walking.

A sheepish smile was plastered on Chad's face as Sonny bit back a laugh. "Here," She said, giggling slightly as she extended her hand. Chad grabbed it and was soon back on his feet. "What I was saying," Chad said with a huff, "Is that you just have to trust me."

"That's convincing."

"I'm serious!" Chad argued, "Okay, this is going to sound really cheesy, but don't let your brain control this descion for you. Let your heart do the thinking for once."

"So you're saying it wouldn't be smart for me to accept?"

Chad shot her a look. "Look, let's meet up tonight. Not as a date. Just to catch up. Let's say, Blue Gardens Hotel Restraunt, seven o'clock?"

Sonny bit her lip, trying to decide if she should buy it. What if he was telling the truth? What if the whole disaster last year was a complete accident? Sonny smiled softly to herself, which made a hopeful smile dash across Chads facial features.

"Can I take that as a yes?"

"You can take that as a maybe." And with that, Sonny turned on her heel and began to finally make her way to work where she was over an hour late.

Chad smirked as he watched Sonny walk away. Hook, line and sinker. "Easy enough." He muttered under his breath, turning around and walking to his office. He was a freelance journalist for the music section in the New York Times.

A girl with gorgeous, flowing red hair walked past Chad. He stopped and turned around to watch her.

After all, he was a sucker for red heads.

She was wearing black skinny jeans with bright red heels that, ironically enough, accented her hair. To protect her from the cold, she had a long black glossy trench coat.

"Mark Jacobs." Chad mummured knowingly. He had had a couple of dates with the fashion columnist at The Times.

Quickly beginning to follow her, Chad walked fast until he was right next to the beautiful woman. "Hey there." He said in a silky voice, flashing her his best smile. Her eyes widened and Chad immediately knew he had won.

"Let's save the names for later. I just want to say, you are by far the most beautiful woman I've seen." Lie. That would be Sonny, his brain couldn't help thinking. Chad shook out the thought so he wouldn't feel too guilty. The girl blushed. Chad snuck a quick look at her chest area and saw it was throughly buttoned all the way to the top. Chad raised his eyebrows, impressed. She was modest _and _humble.

"Oh, um, wow!" The girl breathed. Chad smirked, she was obviously very naiive. "Really?"

Chad nodded, "Absolutley. So here's what I was thinking: Me. You. Blue Gardens Bar. Six o'clock?"

"Oh, jeez, I don't know, see I just met you and-,"

"Shh." Chad whispered, placing a finger on her lips. "The time for talking is over." He shot his classic line.

The girl smiled, "Well, alright. I'm Samantha, by the way."

Chad smirked. "I'll call you Sam. I'm Chad."

Sam smiled an excited smile, "Nice to meet you."

"See you there." And with a well-practiced wink, Chad waltzed off, trying to shake away the guilty thoughts that he normally didn't think twice about.

_A face on a lover with a fire in his heart,_

_A girl on the cover but you tore her apart._

Sonny was a secretary for the most prestigious Law firm in New York, Hart Lawyers, run by the famous Tawni Hart.

Sonny slipped into her desk in the front office, hoping Tawni wouldn't notice she was late. Tawni and Sonny used to be on very bad terms, until an elevator malfuction made them stuck together for seven hours. After that, they became pretty close. Which is unusual. The magnificent Tawni Hart friends with her. . . _secretary_?

Yup. It was weird.

Right as Sonny powered on her computer and thought she was safe, Tawni walked in. "Sonny!" She barked, pointing at the clock, "What is this? An _hour _late? Sonny, it's Christmas Eve. Do you know how many Restraining Orders we have against Santa Clauses all over New York? Sheesh, parents need to get it in thier heads that 'Santa' isn't touching thier kids. They're just sitting on his lap." Tawni spat, looking disgusted.

Sonny smiled sheepishly, "Sorry, I uh, ran into someone. An old friend."

Tawni, who was walking out of the room, stopped and turned around. "Someone? What someone? Tell me everything!" Like a teenager, Tawni never was one to resist gossip. Sonny tucked a strand of brown hair behind her ear and blushed. "Um, see, I ran into Chad this morning."

Tawni's smile vanished. Sonny shrunk back in her seat, anticipating what was coming as Tawni stormed back over to her desk. Slamming the files she was holding onto Sonny's desk, Tawni burst. "What?"

Sonny laughed nervously. "Haha, yeah! See, turns out it was his _sister_! Who'd a thunk it, right?"

Tawni sighed angrily, "Sonny! He _cheated _on you! He smashed your heart to bits! You were shattered for months afterwards! Are you really gonna believe that sister crap? You said she had red hair, right? Since when does a family full of blondes have a _ginger?_"

"That's not nice."

"I don't care."

Sonny rolled her eyes, "Now that I think of it, I don't remember taking that good of a look at her. And I never saw them kiss or anything. The whole situation was completley my fault. I overreacted." Sonny stated simply.

Tawni softened, "Son, if what he said is really true, then why did it take him a year to find you?"

Sonny opened her mouth to answer, then stopped. Why _did _it take him that long?

She shrugged, "I don't know. Nor do I care, at this point. And it's not even a date. We're just going to, you know, catch up."

Tawni, seeing that Sonny's mind was made up, shook her head slowly, "Alright, whatever. I just don't want you to get hurt again."

Sonny smiled at her friend encouragingly, "Don't worry, Tawni. I'm not one to make the same mistake twice."

Tawni rolled her eyes, and just like that she snapped back into business mode. "I want a summary of all twenty-seven of those restraining orders on my desk before you leave, then do a quick sweep of the Hutcherson case. You remember that one, right?"

Sonny nodded, her good mood diminishing as she heard all the work she had to do. "The couple that divorced before they were even married?"

"Yup. Just do a quick sweep of it and turn in what you find."

". . . how is that even possible?"

"What?"

"To be divorced before you're even married."

"Oh." Tawni shrugged, "Obviously they're confused. Now get to work! Chop chop!" Tawni walked out of the room, already yelling at someone on the phone.

Sonny eyed the twenty-seven restraining orders on her desk warily. What a great way to spend Christmas Eve.

_Merry Christmas, I wrapped it up and sent it; _

_With a note saying 'I love you.'_

_I meant it. _

Slipping on the black leather jacket Chad had given her, Sonny stood up and stretched her aching back and horribly sore fingers from writing so much. It was five thirty, and she had finally finished up all the restraining orders.

Sonny grabbed the enomorous stack of papers and headed into Tawni's office. "Here you go! All twenty-seven _and _the sweep of the Hutcherson case is on top. Merry Christmas, Tawni!" Sonny called, closing the door to her office right as she heard Tawni cry, "Merry Christmas!'

Sonny glanced at her watch and saw that she had an hour and thirty minutes to get home, get ready, then meet at the Blue Gardens hotel.

Sonny smiled to herself as she began to make her way back to her apartment. This was definetely the best thing that had happened to her since, well, since last year. When Sonny and Chad first met.

Twenty minutes later, a frozen Sonny stepped into her apartment. Now she had only an hour. Going into speedy-speedster mode, Sonny flung open her closet door and chose a bright red sparkly dress, one that reminded her of both Christmas and Chad. His favorite color was red, after all.

Sonny slipped it on over her head and grabbed some shiny black heels. Sitting down by the mirror, Sonny plugged in her straightner and pulled out her make-up bag. For the first time in a year, Sonny was going to make herself actually look nice.

_A crowded room, friends with tired eyes_

_I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice. _

At exactly seven o'clock, Sonny turned heads as she walked into the Blue Gardens Hotel. Over her dress was a long, glossy black coat that reached her knees and kept her warm. Her eyes were glittering with a glow that the world had thought had been put out last year. Sonny, the real Sonny, was back.

Sonny smiled a dazzling smile to the waitor as she walked into the restaurant, her eyes scanning the room for Chad. Following the waitor to a table of two, Sonny noticed a small, quaint bar at the back of the restaurant.

Oh, perfect! That way after they eat they can go and have something to drink. Sonny felt so incredibly happy she felt like she could cry. Her hopes hadn't been lifted this high in a long time, she forgot what it was like to be happy.

Her eyes landed on a couple kissing at the bar. A pretty red-head and a blonde man. Sonny wouldn't have noticed anything if the man wouldn't have looked up right at that moment and locked eyes with her.

Sonny's eyes widened with the horrible realization of what was happening. Chad's ice blue eyes immediatley filled with remorse and shame, and he pushed the red-head, who was nuzzling his neck, off of him.

Sonny was frozen. She couldn't move or speak, just stand there and see the awful horror take place again just like it happened a year ago.

A tiny voice spoke in the back of her mind, _there is no way that's his sister_, Sonny found herself thinking. She had seen them kissing with her own eyes.

Oh, my god. She's such an _idiot_.

Chad was now running towards her, his lips forming her name. The red-head obviously had no idea what was happening, because she was sitting on the chair, looking hurt.

Sonny shook her head, taking a step backwards past the waitor.

"Sonny, please-," That's when her ears shut down. She refused to hear another word. Not anything. She mentally blocked off her ears. Sorry, Chad, Sonny's ears have had enough bull-crap.

Sonny turned around, tears spilling down her face, and starting to run out of the restaurant. She hadn't realized it till now, but she knew what she had to do. She knew what she was _going _to do.

A hand grabbed her shoulder and spun her around. Sonny saw Chad's face, just inches from hers. He looked ashamed, sad, even heart-broken. He was speaking, but Sonny didn't listen.

"Stop talking." Even her own voice sounded muffled. "I don't want to hear anything." Sonny's voice was all garbled because she was crying so hard, but she didn't care. As long as Chad understood what she was saying.

His blue eyes pleaded with her, but she just took a step back from him. "You're a liar, Chad." Sonny cried, "A freaking liar! My god, I thought you had changed. I believed you. I believed _every frigging lie you fed to me_."

Sonny rubbed her forehead, laughing darkly. "Well, I'm done. I'm done with you. Done with your lies, done with freaking everything. Have fun with red-head number two." And after giving the crying Chad a sharp slap, Sonny turned and fled the restaraunt with a sob, leaving a regretful Chad behind her.

_Now I know what a fool I've been. . ._

After Sonny had left the restaraunt, Chad had stayed in the bar, drinking the guilt out of him. He couldn't belive he got caught. He couldn't believe he was stupid enough to even cheat again. He was such an idi-

Chad's thoughts were interrupted by a vibration in his pocket. Realizing it was his phone, Chad fished it out of his pocket and answered. "Hello?" Chad slurred drunkenly.

"Chad Dylan Cooper? Hi, I'm officer Mark Daniels with some news about your friend Sonny Munroe."

Chad sobered, "Sonny?" He asked quietly, "What's wrong?"

"I'm afraid she's dead, sir. She's killed herself."

*.*.*

**Yupp. **

**I was feeling some angst today, if you couldn't already tell. ;]**

**Anyways, sorry for the overall crappiness of this. I was in a rush to finish, that's why its so horribly sucky. ;P**

**Merry Christmas, Anna! :)**

**And to everyone else, PLEASE review! Please oh please oh please oh please oh PLEASE! review :]**

**-Emily(:**

**P.S. I can haz review? [;**


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